The No-Work Workout


The no-work workout – have you heard?  It’s based on those good whole body vibrations.  Good, maybe, but it sounds high voltage dangerous to me, like what I imagine would happen if you touched the third rail on the subway.  But it’s not electric shock therapy, which could actually help folks shed a few billion brain cells that just take up space.  Whole body vibration is nothing new really.  The concept has been around for years.  Sears Roebuck sold an exercise machine called the Fat Shaker.  If you’re as old as me, you’ll remember that contraption with the electrified belt.  You stood on a crude machine and put a conveyer belt around your waist, flicked the switch to jiggle all the fat away.  It was the silliest thing ever.  I remember trying it out when I was 10 or so and laughing hysterically.  I had no fat to shake off so the thing was like a toy.  On the high setting, it shook violently and made my voice sound like I was talking through a fan.  This new fat shaker machine at the heart of the new and improved no-work workout just vibrates fat right off your body.  You stand on a platform of a machine that looks like a treadmill without the mill. As the platforms begins shaking, so too do you and your jiggly parts.  It’s a real hoot and folks are sold on it.  No impact. No lifting. No running to stand still. No hanging upside down or pretend cross country skiing.  Just some good, good, good, good vibrations.