US Open Put-Put at Pebbles Beach

That golf course at Pebble Beach is messed up.  It should be renamed Pebbles Beach of Flintstone fame.   I half expected Dino and Fred to emerge in a golf cart. The thing is like a put-put course, with weird slopes, moldy greens of astroturf and quirky hole placements.  The professional amateurs they had out there prior to the final round – remember, Gretsky, Drew Brees and Danny Wahlberg – were goofing around shooting quadruple bogeys, having fun, as if the course were some sort of mini-golf tourist attraction near a strip of motels.

I have some ideas to spruce up the course for the next U.S. open at Pebbles Beach.  Make each hole a tribute to some of the home countries and states of the qualifiers.  Build a giant wine bottle on its side for the Argentine Angel Cabrera.  You have to roll the ball into the lip of the bottle.  If you break the bottle on your first shot, it’s like a hole in one.  For the Spaniard Sergio Garcia, build a giant raging bull with an open mouth.  For South African Ernie Els, I suggest a diamond mine replica.  And I propose a fiberglass whale from SeaWorld for the native of San Diego, Phil Mickelson.  Players would have to hit the ball into the blow hole on the fly.

Fun for the players, fun for the whole family.  And TV ratings would be off the charts!