Rich Grinch Gingrich

The Republican candidates have been scrutinized from almost every angle. So what’s left to analyze?  Their names, I guess. So what’s in a name, anyway?  Let’s start with the leader of the pack, Newt Gingrich, who despite declining numbers, is still about 3 points up on the field according to the latest compilation of polls by Real Clear Politics.

Newt Gingrich.  Newt would no doubt compare himself to Newton in intellect.   But Newt is no Sir Isaac, no, more like a fig Newton.  You know, I never liked Fig Newtons much because  they look little mini Beef Wellingtons. Newt rhymes with lots of silly things like poot, toot, brute, boot, hoot, loot, mute, root, suit.  Newt Suit – for the arrogant  conservative delusional Mister know it all in your life.  I didn’t realize there was so much to say about a first name!

Now on to Newt’s last name.  Gin.  What a horrible,bitter tasting liquor.  Ging, as in Ginseng – vitality, energy, concentration, something his campaign seems to be lacking lately.  I sometimes think of Newt as the grinch who shut the government down as Speaker of the House and as the rich, GingRICH, who fleeced the fleecing Freddie Mac, or was it Fanny Mae, of millions, as a lobbyist.  It was a real hoot to hear Noot describe his role with Fannie Mae as little more than an advising historian.

Stay tuned for the next feature on Williard Mitt, protector of the Mittle Class, Romney.