Trump Could Withdraw From Bird Treaty

A little over 100 years ago, the U.S. and Canada signed the Migratory Bird Treaty to protect birds. The treaty limits the number of months hunters can shoot migratory game birds. Trump’s secretary of interior Ryan Zinke has recently moved to expand access to game hunting on public lands. It would not surprise me if Trump were to withdraw from the treaty citing the threat of avian flu, or some other trumped up charge against the birds. Volunteer field reporters from Ribbie’s faux political desk familiar with Trump’s golf outings have reported that Trump regularly feuds with Canadian geese who leave excessive droppings on his manicured greens and the sandpipers that dig around in the bunkers.

There has also been some unconfirmed chatter that Trump wants to require migratory game birds, including those close to extinction, to pay a border crossing tax based on wingspan. Naturally, the cranes are up in arms and the albatross have argued that it creates an undue burden. A group of rough-legged hawks have already begun to organize a migratory bird union, but are having trouble with the warblers who just want to be left alone, and the mockingbirds who won’t take anything seriously.

File under: real fake news, broken news, snark, satire, humor or humour if you like

Top 10 Reasons For Comey Firing

Rod Rosenstein must be wondering how he got on the sinking ship, as did both Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.  Being forced to write a memo to justify Comey’s firing would not have been a pleasurable task for the career bureaucrat, that is unless he had chosen to have some fun with it.  And if he had chosen the later, he might have offered this top 10 list of the best reasons to can Comey.

10) As a Chemistry major, Comey believes in Science.

9) He’s friendly with former Univ. of Chicago classmate Dem. Senator Amy Klobuchar.

8) He promised to be truthful rather than loyal.

7) But her emails!

6) Comey called you “crazy” and “outside the realm of normal”; he may not even like steak well-done with ketchup – talk about crazy!

5) He likely wire tapped all the microwave ovens in the White House.

4) He’s said to be the most promising athlete to come out of the Yonkers/Queens area. But as you know Mr. President, YOU are the best baseball player ever to come out of New York.

3) No longer a registered Republican, he could be your chief presidential rival in 2020.

2) At 6’8″, Comey grandstands everyday.

And the NUMBER ONE reason to fire Director Comey:  He asked for a second scoop of vanilla ice-cream at your dinner meeting!