Despite Muggings, Rio Is Safe

Ryan Lochte and some fellow swimmers were robbed at gunpoint after a night out of celebrating.  Lochte’s description of what happened sounded like a script from a crime drama.  Having been to Rio, I am not surprised that it happened, but it likely didn’t happen on the strip but in some other part of Rio not so heavily policed.  For the most part, from my own experience, I would describe Rio as a city, not unlike NYC, that is safe during the day and fairly safe at night when common sense practices are followed. Not that the swimmers didn’t follow common sense, in fact, they did the right thing by traveling in a group and taking a taxi, but unfortunately, they may have been targeted or watched and followed.  The details are not fully known – for example, it is not clear whether their taxi was an official taxi, an Uber or some other ride-sharing  operation.  But in any case, I would guess that a Brazilian driver would know not to stop for a car unless it was reasonably clear that it was a police operation or that not stopping would result in being shot.  Lochte said there were no lights, so I am assuming it was a car that pulled them over or pulled up to them in traffic and not a situation where they were in stop-and-go traffic and some guys with badges walked up to the taxi out of nowhere.

It all seems a bit odd, but where it happened clearly matters.  If they were in a high risk crime area, maybe the driver knew that their lives were in danger and that he had no choice but to stop or be shot.  We don’t know what the driver did; whether he tried to calm the theives or advise the guys to do whatever they were being told to do.  It may turn out that the driver helped in some way to save their lives. But we may never know.

Does that mean don’t go to Rio or don’t take a taxi if you are already there.  No.  When I was there, I took city buses everywhere, which was quite an adventure and a taxi service to and from the airport.  But I also had some local intelligence from a Rio resident and friend with whom we stayed.  She rode the buses with us and set up the taxi rides from services she knows and trusts.  We went out alone at night around Copocabana, (without our friend) but walked around in well lit areas and did not stray.  We never dressed flashy or flaunted cash and jewelry.  Not to say that the swimmers did.  We actually went out of our way not to stand out – to blend.  We even spoke mostly Spanish (we don’t speak Portuguese) so as not to be mistaken for rich and naive Americans who may not know that you can haggle over anything, even that trinket on the beach.  We took many excursions during the day and felt perfectly safe.  We even took a local bus through the favelas.  Frankly, I was more concerned about misquitoes than criminals.

Admittedly, it is more difficult for Olympic athletes not to stand out, especially Ryan Lochte who is internationally known and who REALLY stands out in a crowd.  He absolutely did the right thing by ultimately not resisting the thieves but had me worried as he described his initial refusal to go down as ordered.  And according to his description, he actually never went down, and responded finally with “whatever” as he put his hands up. He really is lucky not to have been injured or worse.  Thankfully, all the guys are ok.  And as terrible as the stick up was, Rio is ok too.  In fact, it’s a great place to visit and as safe as any other big city in Latin America or the U.S. Michael Phelps concurred when he mentioned that he had been to Brazil many times and has never felt unsafe.

 

 

Olympic Medals Made Of Chocolate

What if those medals all the Olympians win were made of chocolate?  The gold medal would be made of the highest quality chocolate from Switzerland.  The silver medal, perhaps, would be of Belgian extract, although the Italian’s might take issue.  The bronze, well, nobody wants a bronze and so it wold have to be made of a common American chocolate, something like a Hershey’s Kiss, you know, a kiss for a good try, or the unheralded and quite delicious Zero bar, which apparently it still being manufactured, though it’s hard to find where I live.

Were this to come to fruition in the 2020 Toyko games, athletes would no longer have to pretend to take a bite out of their medals; in fact, they could peel off the foil and eat their medals right on the podium stand.

Steeplechase Reimagined

Here’s the thing – the Steeplechase race needs a modern twist.  Jumping over a hurdle into a pool of water is so not very challenging. It’s time for an overhaul of the event. So here are some suggestions for a new course that will surely make the steeplechase the hottest event at the summer Olympics in Tokyo.

Ok, jumping into a pool of water is pretty cool, I have to admit, but what if, right before the water pit, runners had to jump through a ring of fire?  The water would help them cool off. Now the running and hurdling are fine, but quite boring if I’m being honest, so why not have the runners also run backwards for 100 meters?  It’s harder than it looks, but fun, ask any runner. Now, the high hurdle is really not a very big deal, so why not up the stakes and require an actual high jump, followed by a triple jump and a broad jump along the way.  Of course, all the runners would be motivated to chase a gold-plated electronic steeple whizzing around the track, not unlike the bone greyhounds chase at the the races.

Are you with me?

League of Their Own Olympians

 

Photo by Ribbie (2014) atop Forte Duque de Caxias in Rio

 

In these Rio Olympic games, some stories of domination are being written. In this segment called “In a League of their Own” from the Olympic desk of Ribbie’s weblog, Ribbie comments on the competition.   Ribbie was last in Rio during the 2014 World Cup, so the reporting is almost live.

The USA men’s basketball team is in a league of their own, and is expected to win Gold again. The league of their own, of course, is called the NBA.  And while other national teams sport NBA players, team USA’s roster is made up of ONLY NBA players.  Same is true of Team USA on the women’s side – an all WNBA roster.  The women have won 42 consecutive Olympic basketball games, or is it 43?  They are 58-3 all time winning Gold in the last 2 games.  The men have won 14 of 18 Olympic Golds since 1936.  Seems unfair that professional players play teams comprised of, well, in most cases, other professional players from far less competitive leagues, right?  In their first games, the NBA All-Stars beat China by 57 points and the WNBA stars beat Senegal, Africa’s best team, by 65 points. Don’t get me wrong, I like seeing these games; the lack of competition make the NBA/WNBA players seem even better than they really are, to be honest.  I don’t care for the lopsided scores; however, which must be somewhat of an embarrassment to the other teams, though to be fair, Olympians DO like playing against the best.  That said, the Olympics should be about fair competition, in my judgement, which is why I favor a return to a competiton of amateurs only.

Chinese Diving.  Wu Minxia has won more Gold medals in diving than any other Olympic diver in history and is the oldest diver, at 30, ever to win a Gold medal.  She’s still got the golden touch  and is the gold standard in the diving world.

Team USA in women’s gymnastics is in a league of their own.  They could be the best gymnastic’s team the world has ever seen.  In the team competition, they’ve left the other nations behind in the qualifying round, way behind. Simone Biles could win multiple Gold medals in the team competition, all-around and in some of the individual events, possibly as many as 5.  The others have a chance at Gold in their individual events when not up against Biles.

Beach Volleyball – the native California Kerri Walsh with partner Mysti May-Treanor won 3 consecutive Gold medals for the USA and is back for a fourth with a new partner, April Ross.  The towering 6’2″ Walsh is in a league of her own.

Team USA soccer, or football, if you like.  The USA women’s team has won Gold in the last three Summer Olympics and look to be on their way to successfully defending their title.  With the dominant captain Carli Lloyd scoring at will, team USA is clearly in a league of their own.

USA Swimming.  Michael Phelps, whose maiden wins date back to 2004, is STILL swimming and STILL winning in the pool. He’s won so many medals, he’s lost track.  Ask him.  I bet he won’t know how many he has, most of them Gold too. Mr. Phelps is undubitably in a league all his own.

The USA has been fortunate enough to have the great sisters Serena and Venus Williams represent, who have been playing in a league of their own winning 4 Gold Medals in Olympic competition. They could repeat as doubles champs.

Others leagues of their own include Italian Fencers, German and Slovakian  Canoeists, and Danish Rowers.  And the dominant French handballers, in a sport about as silly, but not quite as silly as Water Polo, where Hungary has traditionally dominated, look to be the team to beat.

Some “sports” are not Olympic

The summer Olympics have begun in Rio where it is technically winter.  And as I watch the games, I am struck for the first time by all the sporting events that shouldn’t be in the Olympics in my judgement.  If you take issue with my commentary, know that it is somewhat tongue in check…somewhat.

• Archery – pretty cool to watch.  It might have been one of the original Greek events, so it’s in.
• Badminton – seriously?  It’s a picnic game!  If badminton is in, croquet should be too.
• Basketball – of course. Too bad there’s no longer a U.S. U.S.S.R rivalry. I’d like to see Brazil do well.  Whatever happened to Oscar, or is it Oskar? He was like the Oscar Robertson of team Brasil back in the day.  And while I love watching basketball in the games, it somehow doesn’t seem fair for NBA and WNBA players to play.  I thought the Olympics were supposed to be for amateur athletes.
• Beach Volleyball – definitely, especially in a place like Rio.
• Boxing – hell yes. Those leather helmets are classic and keep the fighters’ head on straight…literally.
• Canoe slalom and sprint- wtf?  Sailing, fine.  Rowing, ok.  Canoeing (is that how you spell it?) That’s something you do on a vacation.  Not a sport.
• BMX and Mountain cycling – nope.  That’s for the Red Bull drinking X Games crowd.
• Road and Track Cycling – ok.
• Diving –  absolutely and as long as Cynthia Potter is the analyst.
• Equestrian –  I love horses.  Actually, I’d like to see rodeo competition in the games. Bull riding and bull running would also be fun events, but I’m not a fan of bull fighting. I’m not.
• Fencing – intense.  I’d also like to see deep water diving with those cast iron helmets.
• Field Hockey – nope.  Too elite prep school for my taste.
• Golf – nope.  They already have too many tournaments – and the thing takes all day.
• Gymnastics – yep.  Lots of flips and stuff.  It’s always hit or miss.  High drama. Made for TV. But not the rhythmic thing.
• Handball – never heard of it.  Isn’t that a penalty in soccer?
• Judo and Taekwondo – yep.
• Rugby Sevens – sounds like a card game, but it’s the next best thing to American football, so I say yes to the rough and tumble sport, mate.
• Sailing – a Christopher Cross song, not a sport.  Nope.
• Shooting – shooting what, the breeze? Not a sport.
• Swimming – yes.  synchronized, no.  Might be good for a Disney show but not for the Olympics.
• Table Tennis –  you mean Ping-Pong?  Sure, why not.
• Tennis.  No. Same reason as Golf.
• Track and Field – yes all day long.
• Trampoline – no, beause with diving and gymnastics it’s redundant.
• Triatholon – ok.
• Volleyball – only beach volleyball.
• Water Polo – NO. It’s just silly, like handball or dodgeball in the water.  They should use a nerf ball in my opinion.
• Weightlifting – definitely. I especially like when they drop the dumbells in disgust.
• Wrestling – ok, but I’d like to see some tag team championship wrestling.  And why isn’t grappling an event?

USA, Russia, Norway AHEAD in Medals Count but which Countires REALLY Dominated?

Ok, I had planned to provide daily Winter Olympic commentary, but I’ve fallen a little behind – a lot behind.  In fact, I sort of stopped watching the Sochi Games – well I tune in here and there and have lately wondered when it will all end.  Will the Games last the entire Winter which would take us to March 19th? They are the Winter Games after all. But they’ve run out of events or at least I thought so until I tuned in this morning and saw snowboard parallel slalom. Wow!  Kind of neat actually.  It’s parallel in the sense that 2 snowboarders zigzag down parallel (in different lanes) weaving in and out of flags trying to “carve” clean and fast lines to best the other rider.  And they are riders in a sense.  You ride, not race a snowboard, right? Anyway, it’s all a little silly really, but fun to watch and it’s over in a flash – it’s like the the twitter version of blogging.  Speaking of boards, what if the snowboarders skied on surfboards.  I’d like to see surfboards on the half-pipe. Imagine if you slipped up at a restaurant and ordered oysters on the half-pipe. But what I actually want to write about are patterns – patterns to the medals.  So if you haven’t been watching the Olympics and just want to know which countries are doing well in what and want to know how los Americanos are doing by comparison, this service is for you.

Let me preface the results reported below by saying that this might be a spoiler alert, or might not be. I’m not sure what you know or have or have not seen or what has been aired or what has yet to be aired tonight.  All I know is that the Games are nearly done.  Maybe some exhibition stuff, a Hockey match or two and perhaps a parade of champions or whatever they do left to go. You know what I think would be neat is for the athletes to compete in sports they don’t do for the last few days.  Bobsledders do Luge.  Lugers do Skeleton.  Sliders do Bobsled and so on (are Bobsledders sliders or just bobbers?) Figures skaters could do Freestyle Skiing; Snowboarders the Giant Slalom (on their snowboards if they like). Freestylers could do Ski Jumping. Hockey players could try the Half-Pipe on skates, Curling or Figure Skating. Short-Trackers could do Speed Skating and so on.

Final Spoiler Alert……What I find interesting is how some countries dominate in certain events. The Dutch completely dominated the world in Speed Skating.  Norway showed us all how to do the Biathlon, Cross Country and Nordic Combined.  Canada, with it’s tradition of Monarchs showed it reigns supreme in Curling and Hockey, it appears.  The Canadians also showed us how to Free Style with style.  The Chinese simply shredded up the Short-Track.  The host Russians danced their way to glory in the opening ceremony and on the figure skating ice, much to the delight of Vladimir Putin, no doubt.  Actually, Putin could be nicknamed Poutin over the Russians poor performance in Hockey. The Americans had the upper hand or perhaps lower leg with respect to Snowboarding events.  The Germans Lugers slid down the track with speed and precision and literally jumped off the charts on the hills of Sochi, normal and long along with Poland.   So, here are the medal results for each event by country of dominance compared to the USA for all you competitive American readers out there.

Figures Skating – Russia.  5 medals, 3 Gold.  USA – 2 medals, 1 Gold

Alpine Skiing – Austria 7 medals, 2 Gold.  USA 5 medals, 2 Gold

Snowboarding – USA 5 medals, 3 Gold. Russia 4 medals, 2 Gold

Freestyle Skiing – Canada 9 medals, 4 Gold. USA 7 medals, 3 Gold

Hockey – Canada 1 medal,1 Gold. USA 1 medal, 0 Gold

Cross-Country – Norway 11 medals, 5 Gold. USA 0

Nordic Combined – Norway 4 medals, 2 Gold. USA 0

Biathlon – Norway 6 medals, 3 Gold. USA 0

Ski Jumping – Germany and Poland 2 medals, 2 Gold (each). USA 0

Bobsled – USA 3 medals, 1 Gold.  Canada and Russia 1 medal, 1 Gold (each)

Luge – Germany 5 medals, 4 Gold. USA 1 medal, 0 Gold

Skeleton – Russia 2 medals, 1 Gold. USA 2 medals, 0 Gold

Curling – Canada 2 medals, 2 Gold.  USA 0

Short Track – China 6 medals, 2 Gold. Russia 5 medals 3 Gold. USA 1 medal, 0 Gold

Speed Skating – Holland 21 medals, 6 Gold. USA 0

Young Daredevils First To Gold

Slopestyle. What is it exactly? It’s not a race. It’s more like an exhibition, and in my view has more in common with diving and figure skating especially in the way that it’s judged. But unlike diving and figure skating, it seems significantly more dangerous.  There have been quite a few injuries, fortunately none too serious on the Sochi course during practice runs earlier in the week.  One such injury compelled veteran Shaun White to withdraw from the event.  True, a diver could crack open his head on the board or do a belly flop and be knocked unconscious, but that’s rare to see.  I liken the slopstylers to cliff divers.  They are young daredevils.  In impressively fearless fashion, Americans Sage Kostenburg and Jamie Anderson won Gold in the inaugural event.

Obviously including the sport in the Olympics is an attempt to attract the interest of the younger crowd who grew up on the X Games and who might find curling and biathlon skiing a little boring.  I do think they made the mistake of making Slopestyle the first event of the games.  While it is true that Halfpipe snowboarding and Freestyle skiing have yet to “air”, the pioneer daredevils have left the stage and perhaps their age demographic viewers along with them. Speaking of age, the average age of the men who medaled in Slopestyle is 21.  Silver medalist Canadian Mark McMorris in a laid back reflection said that he was just happy to “podium”.  The Gold and Silver medalists on the women’s side are both 23.  You have to admire the Bronze medalist, Jenny Jones of Great Britain who at 33 is likely the oldest competitive snowboarder on the circuit.

I don’t know for certain what the American chances for other Gold medals might be in the Sochi Games, but it is possible that most of them will be from the Snowboarder contingent.  If I had to predict, it would be this: Shaun White and speed skater Shani Davis will win Golds and possibly several other Americans in the various events from Halfpipe to Snowboard Cross. It’s entirely possible for an American skater to eke out a win in short track, but it’s such an unpredictable event that anything could happen – all but one could wipeout and the slowest of the group could skate to victory.  It’s happened before.  Oh the thrill of victory when it’s least expected!

Winter Olympics Breakdown + Ideas for New Events

I LOVE the Olympics – always have since I can remember.  Confession: I like the Summer Games better only because I grew up in a state that hasn’t seen much snow until recently, something I believe has to do with climate change, although the wise cracks out there would say it’s proof that global warming is a hoax. Having grown up in a balmy state, the only skiing I did was on the water, not ice, although I once went snow skiing in Tennessee as a 12 year old on fake snow which, as I recall, resembled white astroturf.  I didn’t like the experience of skiing much, but I had fun falling.

And while I prefer the Summer Games, I do enjoy some of the Winter Olympic events, and some not so much.  Here are the things I like followed by the events I dislike along with some snide commentary sprinkled in for good measure.

WHAT I LIKE:

Speed Skating.  But not the long skates because I get dizzy after watching them go round and round and round.  It’s a little like NASCAR, but I don’t watch for the wipeouts.  I don’t enjoy the “agony of defeat” moments.

Short Track.  It’s a little like roller skating, which is something I did as a teenager. I enjoy the speed involved and the fact that it’s a short, tight circle.  And I dig those amphibian gloves they wear, which work like ski poles.  It’s odd, though, not to see Apolo Ohno competing.  Retired at 31.  Short-track is for youngsters.

Ski Jumping.  It’s like flying, and that’s the ultimate for me.  I love anything to do with flying – as a passenger in an airplane, flying a kite or watching birds in flight.  One of the most spectacular dreams I ever had was one in which I was soaring like a eagle.  I do, however, have bouts of vertigo driving over bridges, and climbing or elevatoring to the tops of tall buildings.

Bobsleding.  It looks like fun and reminds me a bit of those soap box derby races I recall as a kid.

Luge.  Pure insanity.  Lugers are fearless.  The doubles event, though, is a little silly.

Skeleton. Head first sledding. Probably the most dangerous event, at least it seems so to me. And like Ski Jumping, the thing I would like to try once.  I actually have gone down a hill on a sled head first without a helmet as a kid, but the hill was one of snow not ice.  Skeleton is not on my bucket list because I value my bones, so much so that I’ve only broken one in my life.

Snowboarding.  Why not?  A little X games injected into the Olympics to keep the ratings up among the Gen X and Y crowd.  And really, who even skis on two skis anymore but old farts? I wonder if they sell Red Bull and Monster in Sochi?

Downhill Skiing.  Pretty much what I think of when I think of the Winter Olympics, Downhill and Ski Jumping.

Figure Skating.  Grace and athleticism – gymnastics on ice. It’s a bit like going to the circus.

WHAT I DON’T LIKE:

Cross Country Skiing.  It’s just a little boring and takes too long.

Hockey.  I don’t like hockey mostly because I didn’t grow up playing or watching it.  I don’t know the rules and the fights remind me of Championship Wrestling.  I’ll watch it though.

Curling.  There’s a certain zen quality to it, but it is extraordinarily silly, almost cartoonish.  To you curling aficionados, you are correct – I don’t know what I’m talking about.

NEW EVENTS I’D LIKE TO SEE:

Synchronized Ice-Fishing.  Fishing with a twist.  The idea is to catch a fish at exactly the same time as your partner.

Snowmobile Racing.  A little like drag racing.  Two machines going head to head down a track.

Snow Ball Throwing.  Lots of possibilities here.  Longest throw.  Fastest throw.  Accuracy, like hitting a target.

Sliding.  This is one where you run as fast a you can and then when you hit the line, you slide.  The one who slides the farthest, wins. A few points for style could be awarded too.  No blades, boards or skis allowed.  “Athletes” could use any kind of shoe they want.

Ice Diving.  The object is to stay under the icy water for as long as possible, but not too long.

Heavy Equipment.  Like Snow Ball Throwing, there are lots of possibilities here – snow removal competition, tractor pulls, snow piling and sculpting events and of course cross country snow plowing.  I was also thinking that the heavy machine operators/athletes could each design a course for the snowboarders with the most challenging design, which the snowboarders would have to compete on, taking the Gold.

Most Memorable 2012 London Olympic Moments

I love the Olympics and have faithfully watched the broadcasts every 2 years for as long as I can remember.  This go round, I watched as much as I could, but unfortunately was not able to catch all of the events.  I didn’t see a wrestling match, or do they call it grappling?  I am sick to death that I did not see the ping pong and badminton matches – strange name for a sport, isn’t it, badminton –  but I hear there was some cheating going on.  No, not doping allegations, just strategic losing to gain an advantage – this is like anti-doping. I didn’t see the dodge ball and handball competitions.  Wait, isn’t a handball a penalty in soccer?  Excuse me, I meant to say football, ok, futbol. I didn’t see any boxing and weightlifting, which, to my knowledge, didn’t make the prime time broadcasts, but they may have had their own channels.  And whatever happened to Olympic Cliff diving?  GB has some great cliffs.  But I digress.  Here are the moments in my view for which the 2012 London Olympics will be remembered:

• Usain Bolt:  Still the fastest human alive and 3 Golds richer.

• Aliyson Felix:  Finally got her Gold in the 200 and 2 more in relays, including a world record in the 4 x100.

• Gabby Douglas: World’s best female gymnast.

• Manteo Mitchell:  Broke his leg on a leg of the 4×400 relay, but managed to finish helping the US qualify for the finals.

• Oscar Pistorius: Ran competitively on carbon fiber blades

• Mo Farah the British runner of Samali origin did the impossible winning the 5 and 10,000 meter runs.

• 10 meter platform finals:  What a finish – USA, China, Great Britain.  David Boudia won the Gold, ending a 24 year medal drought in individual events by American male divers.  The favorite, Qui Bo, finished a very close second and crowd favorite Brit Thomas Daley finished strong and took bronze and a celebratory pool plunge with team GB.

• Michael Phelps:  Still the world’s fastest swimmer and arguably the greatest Olympian of all-time.

• The golden women of team USA:   swimming and track relays, basketball, water (marco) polo, gymnastics, beach volleyball, rowing and soccer.  Domination.

• Events that should be in the X Games, not the Olympics:  BMX bike racing and beach volleyball.  You know it’s X gamey when an athlete gives an interview wearing a Red Bull cap.

• Picnic and arcade games that are not sports:  If badminton and ping pong are allowable, why not frisbee golf, fooseball, pinball, dodgeball, kick-the-can, twister and croquet in Rio.  In fact, I demand it!

• An explosion of athletes wearing kinesio tape: The stuff looks like leaches from the Thames or British sea slugs from the Isles of Man or Wight, one.

• Edible Medals: All the athletes were eating their medals which I believe were actually foil wrapped chocolates.

• The Brits:  The host country won 65 medals, 4th best and with 29 Golds, 3rd behind China and the U.S.  Down under in 2008, team GB won 47 medals, 19 Golds.

Congratulations London and team GB on a job well done!  Cheers!

To Podium, A New Olympic Verb

Hey NBC, stop with the medal ceremony.  Focus on the games and the performances, but don’t expect a performance on the medal stand.  Enough of the creepy zoom ins to check for patriotic tears and vocals.  Clearly, and I think unfairly so, the hope and expectation of the photographer is for the gold medal winner to be overcome with joy, emotion and patriotism.  The camera wants tears, and a believable attempt at the national anthem, or at least a convincing lip synch with hand over heart. The stoic gold medalist may be accused of ambivalence or apathy, even selfishness. The other medalists are expected to look humbled, not pissed or disappointed, as they often do, and the journalist secretly wants their “poor sportsmanship” to become the story.  Sour grapes sell.

And speaking of podium, what’s with using podium as a verb? I keep hearing athletes and commentators mention “to podium” as a goal.  “She just hopes to podium”, or “I’m just happy to podium”. Do you suppose the athletes say to themselves when on the podium that they can’t believe they podiumed or that they are podiuming at the very moment.  Try saying podiuming quickly three times or just once.

If I were a sports consultant, and I am not, but if I were and I just might become one, but I won’t, but I could, I would write a book called:  How To Podium and Not Look Bad Doing It. I’m sure it would be a bestseller.  Here are some excerpts:

• If you don’t know the words to your country’s national anthem, don’t try to sing it.
• If you can’t cry, smile.  If you can’t smile, cry. Don’t look serious.
• If you didn’t win the gold, look proud anyway, no pouting.
• If you won gold, don’t tell your podium mates sorry that it didn’t work out.
• Don’t pretend to eat the medal.
• Don’t ask your podium mates if they would like to touch your gold.
• Don’t crack up laughing.
• Take off your shades.
• Try not to trip over the podium or fall off it.
• Don’t insist that the others join you on the gold medal platform.
• Do not attempt to autograph your competitors’ warmups.
• No Hang Ten gestures. That’s for the X games.