to Butterfinger, Baby Ruth and Crunch because Nestle, the Swiss chocolatier has decided to mess with the ingredients of the classics. I say mess with because according to an article in the Washington Post, Nestle plans to use natural ingredients in its candy bars as opposed to the chemically laden synthetic dyes and flavors that so many of us have come to love and crave over the years. Gone will be such iconic ingredients as Yellow 4 and Red Dye #40, that make the bars so attractive to the eye. Never mind that Red #40 is actually named 6-hydroxy-5-[(2-methoxy-5-methyl-4-sulfophenyl)azo]-2-naphthalenesulfonic acid and was born in a laboratory and not in nature. And let’s not harp on the evidence that in some studies, Red 40, as it is affectionately known, altered the DNA of mice, and is thought to have the potential to produce serious allergic reactions and even cancer in some humans. After all, most of us will die of cancer anyway, so what’s the big deal?
The big deal is that our candy bars are going to look natural and taste like some hipster snack food with achiote tree seeds (fairly traded from the Guatemalan rain forest no doubt) and actual vanilla. Yes, actual vanilla! If they start using real sugar as opposed to high fructose corn syrup, which I am addicted to frankly, I may just launch a Nestle boycott. How dare they even consider going GMO free! This may just be a sinister ploy to regain the German market that banned the GMO laden Butterfinger.
Plot or no plot, Nestle is going after more than the big three, although I really don’t care what they do with the inedible Crunch, maybe one of the worst chocolate bars on the planet, in the same company as the foul tasting Tootsie Roll. But get this – soon the “neutral” Swiss company will be attacking SweeTARTS. Without all the dyes, they may soon look like communion wafers or peppermint TUMS and taste like raw agave sap. If they go designer on us, I’m out. I don’t want a tart made from real cherries, limes or oranges. Kids don’t want that either, I assure you. Real fruit is not candy. If Nestle keeps mucking with the ingredients, they might get the Germans back, but stand to lose the entire American market.