Gallup Poll and the famous Mr. Ed

The Gallup poll is the one that’s been around a long time dating back to the days of horses and bayonets.  It’s a bit of a maverick poll that seems to be out of synch with other polls on most days.  It is one along with the Rasmussen poll (that I refer to as the Rapscallion poll) that folks who live in the conservative bubble point to to prove Romney still has momentum.  I’ve heard from not so reliable sources, but from sources nonetheless, that Gallup still conducts its polling on horseback, in the parking lots of suburban malls asking “who you voting for?”  They sometimes interrupt large crowds with megaphones asking questions like “are we on the right track?” eliciting responses of “yes” and “no” and the occasional wise crack like, “no you are on the wrong track – the cow path is that way”, and “go eat some oats”.  One group chanted, “Mr. Ed, Mr. Ed, Mr. Ed.”

Gallup has had some problems using horses.  Some rapscallions in large crowds have resorted to feeding the equine messengers dollops of peanut butter which produce a reaction that make them look to be talking very much as Mr. Ed appeared to be talking, prompting young children to ask their soccer moms, “can horses speak, like Horton from Horton Hears a Who?” Some of the brighter kids ask if Horton is a republican and ask where the donkeys are.  My sources, who wish to remain anonymous, tell me  that Gallup used to use donkeys but they kept heading straight for trash barrels and would throw temper tantrums braying and kicking up a storm, being real asses when they couldn’t get their way.

Disclaimer:  none of what you’ve just read is true.  I made it up.  And sometimes it feels like pollsters just make stuff up too, but I have no proof so I’ll stick to comedy.

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