New Names for MA Hospitals

Massachusetts has a lot of well-known and respected hospitals.  One of them is called Mass Eye and Ear.  Funny name for a hospital if you ask me.  Boston once had a maternity hospital back in the early 1800’s named the Boston Lying-In Hospital.  They sure don’t name them like they used to.  And I like the Floating Hospital for Children; now that’s a fun name for a very serious need.  But back to the Eye and Ear – I like it because it is so specific.  You got problems with your eyes – glaucoma, cataracts, a stye; need a wax irrigation –  head on over to Mass Eye and Ear.   Probably not the place to be for a knee replacement.  Which brings me to some new names for hospitals that would assist consumers in selecting the proper care.

  • Mass Heart and Lungs (motto:  keep on pumping)
  • Mass Shoulder and Back
  • Mass Knee and Elbow
  • Mass Nose, Earlobe and Bellybutton (specializing in the treatment of infected piercings)
  • Mass Frozen Shoulder
  • Mass Cardiac Arrest
  • Mass Wrist and Calf
  • Mass Bicep and Pectorals (featuring steroid detox program for athletes)
  • Mass Head and Brain (specializing in lobotomies and migraine therapy )
  • Mass Broken Bones
  • Mass Muscles and Tendons
  • Mass Breadbasket (ulcer unit for victims of diet sodas and energy drinks)
  • Mass Internal Organs
  • Mass Blood and Guts
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