A winner had not yet been declared by the time I fell asleep. I woke up early the next day, turned on the TV and was a little surprised that it was tuned to Fox News. I don’t watch Fox News. I’ve blocked the channel. But there it was. I flipped around and it was on every channel. I rubbed my eyes, thinking I must be having a bad dream, but I couldn’t shake the nightmare, or morningmare as it were. I started to feel really panicky. I turned on the radio which I have set to the NPR affiliate, but there was no Morning Edition. Instead, Rush Limbaugh was yelling something. I hit the next preset, Mix 98 and it was Glenn Beck digging his fingernails into his chalkboard. The next preset, Rock Classics 101 was in the middle of a Kid Rock, Ted Nugent marathon. NOOOOOOO! I threw my high tech radio against the wall and it cracked open oozing mercury that settled in a pool on my hardwood floor. I freaked and called 911. The operator who sounded like Sarah Palin asked me “what’s your emergency?” I said, “mercury spill, hurry!” To which she replied, “I’m sorry, you should take personal responsibility for your own life” and hung up. Already, my cat was pawing the pooled beads of toxic heavy metal. What’s that smell? Something was burning. I raced outside to find a an angry mob burning copies of Darwin’s The Origin of Species, and Carl Sagan’s Cosmos. I’ve got to wake up. This can’t be happening.
Posted on October 10, 2012 by ribbie