The MLB All-Star Game Needs a Real Change Up

The MLB All-Star baseball game is on tonight and I don’t care.  I find the exhibition game boring, even though the outcome has some bearing on determining the home team at the World Series.  By the way, baseball shouldn’t call its ultimate tournament, the World Series because only American teams play.  Granted, there are non-American players on every team, mostly Dominican and the one Canadian team, but this limited diversity does not constitute the World.  Anyway, the All-Star game lacks excitement and I have some ideas for how to energize and internationalize the game.

Why just play with a baseball? Why not let the pitcher (and catcher) decide what ball to throw!  Here’s how it would work.  The pitcher would have a big drum or garbage barrel full of balls behind the mound. He’d grab one and have to throw the same ball or kind of ball to the batter, but could switch up for the next batter.  So one batter might get a series of wiffle balls, the next, cricket balls, a third, some tennis balls and so on.  Rubber balls, soft balls, golf balls, hackey sacks, lacrosse balls, racket balls, ping pong balls, croquet balls, foil wrapped Hostess Ding Dongs, hockey pucks, cans of tuna fish, and badminton shuttlecocks would all be permissible.  Talk about a change up!

Players on the losing team would have to donate a game’s salary to their favorite charity and would have to sit out the first game of the World Series if their team makes it that far.  Pitchers would have to throw nothing but fastballs in their first inning of work.  No need for the catcher’s sign.


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