There are so many idiotic products designed just for men – Grecian Formula, Old Spice, Aqua Velva, Brut presumably for brutes, the shampoo Ax for neanderthal man and Gel shaving cream for sensitive skin to be used with the radioactive Fusion razor. And then there’s the stuff for the dullest of the lot, the three in one, a combination body wash, shampoo and shaving cream, which I have been testing in my shower. In case you’re wondering, I didn’t buy the stuff – my wife bought it for me, I guess thinking it would save us some money. I tell you, this goop is awful, and probably best used as cream rinse, because it takes me a long time to wash it out of my hair, and I don’t have a lot of hair, by choice, by the way. As a body wash, it’s like lotion – goes on greasy and like the shampoo, won’t wash off easily. Some men would be duped into buying this stuff once, but most wouldn’t buy it again. But I have to give the makers credit because it is an intriguing concept, but if I were a product design consultant for this company, I’d say the three in one is not good enough – it needs to be 8 in 1 to maximize sales and here is what I propose:
A glass bottle with a reflective mirror (for shaving) that hangs, like the old soap on a rope to give it that retro feel.
The 8: body wash, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant (that won’t stain undershirts), shaving cream, tooth paste with a whitener, a creamer with an energy drink formula for the morning coffee and an after shower styling gel that smells like an aftershave. And it needs to be 8 because men tend to be late. The all in one is not only efficient and a cost saver, it’s a time saver.
I’d call the stuff, Never Late with 8 by Ribbie, or Maybe Never Too Late, or just Too Late or….