21 Worst Things Ever

Buzzfeed had a list of the 21 Absolute Worst Things in the World:  Here’s mine, in no particular order:

1.  Facebook games – as if I don’t have enough mind numbing distractions to keep me occupied.  Anyway, nothing rocks like Angry Birds!

2. Ask Your Doctor – I shouldn’t have to ask my doctor if Oxycodone or Thorazine eye drops are right for me.  He should know, right.  “Doc, I saw that purple pill on TV.  Do you think I could get me a few of those?”

3. Horn honkers – I know how to drive.  Honk and I’ll go slower, unless you’re honking to say hi or cool car, or something social, which is not likely to happen unless in the South or Canada.

4.  Stupid rotaries – or roundabouts as they are sometimes called.  You just go round and round and round.

5.  Remote controls –   All of them.  And I have too many.  And I always lose the one I need or they all run out of batteries at the same time.  Ever try to program a universal remote? My TV is the one that’s not in the programming guide. When are they coming out with the voice activated TV?  You know they have the technology.  With a government grant, MIT probably invented it 75 years ago.  The Brits will say they did, though.

6. Unfriendly signs – Resident Fishing Only.  Resident Parking Only.  No Parking – Street Cleaning.  No Standing. What’s that about? What am I supposed to just sit?

7.  Hair in the drain – especially the realization that it’s mine.

8.  No towels – and having to dry my hands by running them through my hair.  And the motion activated devices.  I never can get those to work and I look like a miming fool.

9.  Forgetting to take the trash out on trash day.

10.  The sound of wiper blades against a semi-dry windshield.

11.  When the ATM is temporarily out of service leaving me temporarily out of cash.

12.  Cheap gas at places that only accept cash when I am temporarily out of cash.

13.  Places in general that only take cash.  Come on, it’s a new millennium.

14.  Price checks while standing in a long line, and slow friendly and talkative checkers.

15.  Those shopping carts with messed up wobbly or seized up wheels.  And wide shopping carts in places with narrow aisles, that support only one way traffic.

16.  Elevator and other piped in music or Muzak.  Imagine having to listen to that stuff all day.  As a kid, I had one of those supermarket jobs and the music scarred me for life.

17.  40 songs from my Spotify Playlist called the 40 Worst Songs Ever.

18.  Static Charges –  I get shocked 100 times a day.  I should design a line of static free clothing.

19.  SUVs – You are a danger to the environment and to me and my Honda Fit.

20.  Lost socks – Seinfeld had a good joke about that phenomenon.

21.  A call from a recorded voice that says: “you have an important call, please hold the line”.  Right.

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