The GOP needs a new mascot. The intelligent, elephant is no longer an appropriate symbol for the modern day Republican party for the following reasons:
Elephants have a keen sense of hearing, and are known to be good listeners, a characteristic the Grand Old Party of NO lacks. Despite their large size, elephants are sensitive, with big hearts, perhaps even bleeding hearts; one could argue that elephants are the most liberal species in the animal kingdom.
Elephants are vegetarians. How many GOP vegans are there? Maybe a few or just two. The GOP has made pink slime into a political issue, suggesting that were people to stop consuming it, the meat packing and cattle industries would lose jobs. Better jobs than lives, I say, but the point is an elephant would want nothing to do with finely textured beef, or a slab of Prime Rib for that matter.
Elephants have big brains and long memories. The GOP seems to have forgotten all about the past. They seem to have completely forgotten W Bush and have selectively forgotten most of the history of their hero, Ronald Regan, who gave amnesty to undocumented immigrants and argued that the rich should pay their fair share in taxes. And of course they have forgotten that RayGun was responsible for the biggest deficit spending spree in history which produced colossal failures like Star Wars (Strategic Defense Initiative) and a plumbing nightmare where the wealth got stuck in the pipe and simply never trickled down to the middle class.
Here are a few suggestions for new mascots for the GOP:
Yosemite Sam. He’d represent the gun rights crowd including the NRA, and the Stand Your Ground laws the GOP is so proud of. And he would represent the young guns in the party whose policies would stick it to the middle class.
The Weasel – There are quite of few them in the GOP leadership. And weasels are carnivorous, blood thirsty vermin, as illustrated by their treatment of one another in the GOP race.