Top 10 Reasons Santorum Out of the GOP Race

10.  Quakers from the Quaker state reminded their native son that peace is patriotic, not war mongering.

9.  Stepped down before letting out the rebel yell that he knew would eventually come and doom his campaign.

8.  Rumor has it that he never used a can of Quaker State motor oil in his life.

7.  After a brief investigation, former Senator Santorum was found to be an educated snob.

6.  After encounter with fiery water while brushing his pearly whites, Santorum forced to reconsider energy policy which of course did not sit well with billionaire supporter Foster Friess or the frack for fossil fuels crowd.

5.  Incensed that the GOP leadership refused to adopt the slogan “It’s Not Ok”.

4.  Much to the chagrin of the Tea Party and the Country First movements, rumor has it that Rick Santorum drinks coffee, not tea and prefers the Canadian Tim Horton’s to a cup of Dunkin Donuts.

3.  Teaming up with Sarah Palin to co-host the Show, Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?

2.  Foster “Grant” Friess spotted Santorum wearing Rayban’s and severed all ties to his campaign.

1.  Could not overcome top VP hopeful Wylie Coyote’s ultimate snub:  “you, sir, don’t need my help running the GOP off the cliff.”

Disclaimer: honest humor, not fact…as far as I know.

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One Response

  1. This Quaker from the Quaker state says..”Tootles Ricky!”

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