MITT’s GOP Running Mates

Wylie Coyote.  A formidable creative talent who never had the benefit of team support.  A Wylie/Mitt ticket would either energize the party or run it right off the cliff.

Kid Rock.  With songs like “I Am The Bullgod” and “American Bad Ass”, he’ll help Mitt secure the Tea Party bass, base that is.  It probably helps that Kid Rock looks like Billy the Exterminator, which will give Mitt some appeal among gun touting hawks who think he is too soft, despite his solid record as a vulture capitalist.

Ted Nugent.  A grueling campaign might be difficult for the ax man who suffers periodic bouts of cat scratch fever, but his pro-gun stance and hunting skills could help assure the GOP that a Mitt administration would be more than varmint hunters.  Next thing you know, Mitt’ll be talking about how much he likes vittles and grits.

A GOP woman.  There are some promising prospects who are indubitably on Mitt’s short list, especially to appease the Tea Party: Sharron Angle, Christine O’Donnell, Jan Brewer and Michele Bachmann.  Long shots include Condi Rice, Olympia Snowe, and Sarah Palin, who’s back in the news again, with a movie about her called Game Change.   And here’s a long, long shot, and one that could get another Bush back in the White House – Barbara Bush!

Bob McDonnell.  Well, he won’t help with women, immigrants, gays, the elderly, the poor, the homeless, the middle class, the educated and moderates, but he’d be a smash hit with creationists, secessionists and men who fear women.

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