Bear and Tiger to the BP rescue

BP has a new plan for plugging the oil fountains – dropping a load of junk down the riser.  Junk – like tires and golf balls.  I suggest BP hire a golfer – Tiger Woods maybe or Jack Nickolaus to recommend the optimal golf ball to drop – Titlelist, Nike, Callaway, Top Flite – you know it might make a difference.  If Tiger can plug the leak with the proper ball, he could help to rehabilitate his image and that of BP.   And those tires.  Look, I have four Michelin Harmony tires I’d donate to the cause.  And my daughter’s Honda Fit has a leaking Dunlop.  Drop that down on the leak.  Hey, a leak on a leak – might just work.

Look, BP is trying everything they can to cap that pipe, so why not just drop down a bunch of divers in those Jules Verne diving suits – have Bear Grylls lead the way;  he’s a superhuman Brit with elite Special Forces training. If Bear and Tiger can’t save the day, there may be no hope until those relief wells are drilled.