My College Interview

These days there’s a lot of pressure on kids to get into the best schools and the process is complex and stressful:  the SAT, SAT II’s, AP exams, grades, portfolios, recommendations, the essay, college tours and weekend sleepovers in the dorms.  And then there’s the interview.  When I was in high school, I took the ACT and that was it – no interview, no essay, no pressure whatsoever…I don’t even remember applying. I went to the one and only school on my radar screen, a fine state school  with a pretty high acceptance rate.   I should add that I have no regrets about attending, but I often wonder what I would have said about myself in 1981 as a high school senior if an interview had been required.

Interviewer:  So, tell me about yourself.

Me:  What do you want to know?

Interviewer:  Something about you.

Me:  Well, I like cheeze doodles, playing records, hanging out with friends, debating, Saturday Night Live, and the Andy Griffith Show.

Interviewer:  That’s nice, but what about you?  What makes you stand out?

Me:  Oh, I see.  Well, I can bend my thumb all the way to my wrist.  Wanna see?  I can snap really loud with my index finger and thumb.  Not many people can do that.   And I can speak with a British accent.  Cockney, to be exact.  I can chirp like a cricket and make a whistle sound without whistling.  I can whistle with an acorn shell too. I can do a 1 and half off the high dive and can……..

Interviewer:  That’s good.  What has been the most significant life experience for you?

Me:  Well, I guess learning how to tie my shoe, how to tie a tie, how to whistle (that was big), my first fish, my first kiss, first beer (but it was warm and not too good), blowing smoke rings and enhaling without coughing, (can I say that?) MTV…

Interviewer:  I get the picture.  Is there anything else I should know about you?

Me:  Nope.

Interviewer:  Do you have any questions you’d like to ask me?

Me:  Is there parking?

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